Saturday, April 30, 2011

Easter Duckling

Easter has just recently passed by, full of cute little creatures, salvation for some, and devouring of chocolate effigies of afore mentioned cute little creatures for most. Nothing wrong with any of that. Perfectly normal holiday fare.

Or so I thought, until I joined my fiancĂ©es family in their yearly ritual of dying eggs. Aside from my disappointment at their not being rabbit eggs, there was little wrong with the experience. We dipped eggs in dye hoping they would come out nice colors. We were often not disappointed. We drew faces on the eggs which were generally amusing, occasionally surprisingly so.

What ruined it all was the duckling sticker you see above. It came with the egg dye, along with it's assorted friends, including a frog. Incidentally, if anyone can tell me what a frog has to do with any version of Easter, please let me know. Some cruel individual stuck this sticker to me. They probably thought they were amusing, because they hadn't examined the sticker closely.

If they had, they would have noticed that there is not a single feature of this duckling that isn't designed to strike fear into the hearts of men. The gaping maw, the stubby useless wings flapping wildly, the cross eyed something-is-very-wrong-in-there gaze, the upraised foot prepared to quash it's foes... truly, it is a creature out of nightmare. The way it blurred when I tried to photograph it just proves it's unholy nature.

I removed the creature as quickly as I could and placed it in the trash. The rest of Easter was spent hoping it would not find it's way out. The rest of my life will be spent praying it doesn't find it's way back from the landfill and kick me down some stairs...

Hope everyone had a happy Easter!

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